I have been working on Part Three of the "habits" series and it is coming.  But I am not ready to post it yet.  So for today I would like to share a poem that has been a constant companion.  I first read the poem years ago in Elisabeth Elliot's book, The Shaping of a Christian Family (See the book review from March 6, 2010). 

Ms. Elliot found the poem in her mother's journal.  She said the poem contained "a maxim which Mother found greatly comforting and fortifying in all kinds of circumstances, especially the kind that would tend toward the paralysis which self-pity brings."  I have quoted the poem more times than I can count over the past months (and years).  I have typed it for you here as it was found in Kathrine Howard's journal.  The author is unkown.

Doe The Nexte Thynge

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message to me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And all through the hours the quiet words ring
Like a low inspiration: “DOE THE NEXTE THYNGE.”

Many a questioning, many a fear,
many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment, let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus, doe the nexte thynge.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
Who placed it before thee with earnest command.
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
Leave all resultings, doe the nexte thynge.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
Working or suffering, be thy demeanor,
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm,
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing.
Then, as He beckons thee, doe the nexte thynge."

 

A Quest for Smooth and Easy Days - Part 2

It's week 2 in our quest for smoooth and easy days.  How are your habits coming?  If you didn't start with us last week, it is not too late.  Find Part 1 below and join right in.  It seems most people are working on basic habits like getting ready in the morning, making their beds, and dealing with "stuff" as they come in the door.  These small habits make a huge difference in the flow of our lives.  Mitchel is working with the boys on their animal chores and I am working with each team in efficient kitchen clean-up after meals.  I would love to hear how your habits are progressing and don't forget that each week you comment, you are entered in a drawing for the e-book version of Laying Down the Rails: A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook. 

I am encouraged in the development of our habits, but there are several things that I have noticed.  Mitchel was a bit slower to get on the band wagon and he eased the desired habits onto the children.  They are doing amazingly well.  They work each morning to beat their time from the day before.  They are still slow to wake up at 5:30 am (aren't we all?), but once moving they are really motivated to get out there and do well.  I, on the other hand, was eager to get things in shape.  I was tired of wasting time after meals and never completely finishing the job.  Since the kitchen routine was already in place, I dove right in and drug them in with me.  I helped with the clean up and mostly stayed with them until the job was done, but I was still constantly redirecting and getting them back on task.  That isn't how this is supposed to be.

I went back to the book, Smooth and Easy Days with Charlotte Mason, and read chapter 4: Her Own Idea.  That's what I was missing.  It wasn't their idea.  They had no motivation of their own to complete the task.  Mitchel had created this game of sorts for the animal chores and they were constantly trying to beat their time.  They were internally motivated.  I had set the parameters of the kitchen clean-up routine with them and had even assisted with the job, but I had not given them any reason to "own" the task.  It was simply a job they had to do.  Hmmmm.  How to change that?

I now went to my good friend Nehemiah.  He had a big job to do and some very discouraged workers.  Let's see how he handled the task:

"Then I said to them, 'You see the bad situation we are in, that Jerusalem is desolate and its gates burned by fire.  Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem that we may no longer be a reproach.' And I told them how the hand of my God had been favorable to me, and also about the king's words which he had spoken to me.  Then they said, 'Let us arise and build.'  So they put their hands to the good work." Nehemiah 2:17-18

Nehemiah did 5 important things that brought about the motivated response from the people.  Let's see if there is a lesson that can be applied to our situation.

1.  He presented them with the vivid reality - "You see the bad situation we are in, that Jerusalem is desolate and its gates burned by fire."

2.  He stated the action required - "Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem . . ."

3.  He gave them a powerful incentive - " . . . that we may no longer be a reproach."

4.  He reassured them that it was the right thing to do - "And I told them how the hand of my God had been favorable to me"

5. He provided evidence of the necessary support - "and also about the king's words which he had spoken to me."

The result was a motivated response - "Then they said, 'Let us arise and build.' So they put their hands to the good work."

Most of those things I have done, but I am missing one important element - #3.  They have no incentive.  They have not taken ownership of the job because they cannot see the benefit to them.  There is no real reason for them to work quickly and diligently.  Hurry up and . . . . do school? That is not much motivation for most of the kids.  So I need an incentive . . . what can it be?  If you have ideas, post them in the comment section.  I'll tell you next week what I have done so far and how it is working.

The homework for this week is:

1.  Leave me a comment and let me know how it is going.  What is working, what is not.  Are you seeing a difference in your days?  Are you seeing a difference in the character of your children?  or yourself?  I would love to hear from you and pray for you.

2.  Memory Verses:  Parents - Nehemiah 2:17-18 (from above); 

Children - Proverbs 15:19 - "The way of the sluggard in as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway."

3.  Read Chapters 4, 5, and 6 in Smooth and Easy Days with Charlotte Mason.

4.  Read Chapter 5 carefully and talk with your children about paths (literal paths and brain paths) - how are they formed and what makes them easy to follow.  This goes with their memory verse and the following quote:

"The fact is, that the things we do a good many times over leave some sort of impression in the very substance of our brain; and this impression, the more often it is repeated, makes it the easier for us to do the thing the next time." (The Origianl Home Schooling Series, Vol. 4, Book 1, page 208)

5.  Read Chapter 6 and then consider the following Proverbs:

"The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly." 15:2

"The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body." 26:22

"A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike;" 27:15 (Yikes - I don't want to be that way!!)

If that is not enough, you can look these up on your own:  13:3, 15:28, 16:23-24, 18:8, 21:9, 21:19, 21:23.

I could do to read those verses daily again and again - constant reminders ringing through my head.

6.  Continue to persevere in reading your chosen Bible verse(s) and praying for the development of character in your child(ren).  Stay diligent in the training of your habits and do not grow weary, but persevere " . . . and let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:4)

A Quest for Smooth and Easy Days - Part 1

I've noticed that some bad tendencies around our house have become more than just occasional occurrences - they have become habits.  Kitchen clean-up after meals has stretched to quite unreasonable lengths with much social interaction.  And feeding the animals has become the perfect opportunity to play and escape other necessary endeavors (while sometimes forgetting that one was supposed to be completing a task).  Furthermore, I have encouraged this forming of "bad" habits by reminding them repeatedly instead of holding them accountable for what they know they should be doing.  So we now have some bad habits around our house.  It is time to deal with them.  Charlotte Mason, a turn of the century educator (the last century ), had a lot to say about habits.  Here are just a few of her ideas:

"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smoothe and easy days, while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children." (The Original Home Schooling Series, Vol. 1, p. 136)

 

"Here, indeed, more than anywhere, 'Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it'; but surely intelligent co-operation in this divine work is our bounden duty and service." (The Original Home Schooling Series, Vol. 2, p. 90)

And so I am looking to the Bible and to some of Charlotte Mason's ideas to address the "bad" habits - the habits that have formed themselves in our home.

You may not have any bad habits at your house, but if you do and you would like to join me, this is going to be a 5 week series on the pursuit of "smooth and easy days,"  I doubt that we reach that goal, lofty as it is.  However,

"As has been well said,

'Sow an act, reap a habit;

Sow a habit, reap a character;

Sow a character, reap a destiny.'" (The Original Home Schooling Series, Vol. 2, p. 124)

These quotes were taken from a free little e-book, Smooth and Easy Days with Charlotte Mason.  It is a brand new little book, written by Sonya Shafer, pulling together Charlotte Mason's ideas on habits.  The e-book is short and easy to read.  I will be spending the next 5 weeks going through this book and working on building habits that will lead to smoother and easier days in our home.  They will also be habits that will build character in myself and my children.

Would you like to join me in forming some good habits in your life and the lives of your children?  I would relaly like others to join me in this effort so this is what I'm going to do.  I'll provide a link for this little e-book here and you can download it.  Then we'll go through the book together.  You comment here each week about what you are doing and I'll put your name in a "hat" each week that you leave a comment.  At the end of the 5 weeks I will draw one name from the "hat" and that person will receive the e-version of Laying Down the Rails: A Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook ($16.95 value).  This is a great resource full of practical ideas for forming habits and character in our children.  It will be used again and again as habit and character issues arise in your home.

So that's it.  Would you like to join me?  We can pray for and support each other as we work to build our habits and our homes (Proverbs 24:3-4).

*Download Smooth and Easy Days (right click on the 'free download' button and click "save to . . ." or save target as . . . " and select the location on your computer.  You can print the book - 2 pages per side on front and back will only require 12 pieces of paper - or read it straight from your computer.

*Here are your memory verses for the week:

Parents: Deuteronomy 6:4-9    Children: Psalm 25:4-5

*Here is your homework:

Read Chapters 1-3 (It's only 12 pages total)

Think of a habit that you and/or your children need to change or develop. 

What character trait would that affect? There is a list on page 43 of your e-book.

Choose a Bible verse or passage that will guide you in developing that habit and character trait.

Try to think of practical actions that will produce the desired habit for you and your children.

Let me give you an example:

I've read the chapters and I told you about the bad habits that have formed themselves in our home.  Mitchel and I decided that "integrity" would be a good character trait to represent the habits that we are trying to form (according to the list on page 43, integrity includes finishing tasks and proper use of our time).  Since we will be directing their new habits, it will require new habits for us as well - better parenting habits.  Mitchel will sit down with the children and develop a set of steps for the animal chores.  He will go through those steps with them every day - twice a day, keeping them focused and holding them accountable.  We already have a plan for cleaning the kitchen after meals - what we have lost is the completing of the job in a timely manner.  I will spend 30 mintues after each meal with the children assigned to that meal, setting the example and redirecting as necessary.  Charlotte Mason says that 6-8 weeks is needed to form a habit.  I've always heard 21 days.  We'll commit to the next 5 weeks and then re-evaluate.  Our guiding passage is Psalm 26.

Will you join me in building your home with good habits and, more importantly, good character?

 UPDATE:

After 3 days of working on our new habit, I thought I would give you an update.

We re-established our kitchen routine.  It looks like this: